


I Could Never Stop

by littlefirefly31



Series: Kink/Request Fics [120]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Parent John Winchester, Gentle Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Loving Dean, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 09:56:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3891988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefirefly31/pseuds/littlefirefly31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: John always abused Sam as a kid when Dean left to a bar and Sam's so hurt because he always thought about Dean and that's the reason he left. Story is set in season 1, Dean ask Sam why he left for Stanford and Sam doesn’t want to say it, but then he's really angry and told him everything.</p><p>Lots of angst please,Hurt/Comfort,and</p><p>Bad parenting!John. And sex with feelings</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Could Never Stop

**Author's Note:**

> The abuse mentioned is physical with a couple sentences of rape, i'm not sure what kind of abuse you wanted? But warnings for non-explicit rape!!

**Prompt** : John always abused Sam as a kid when Dean left to a bar and Sam's so hurt because he always thought about Dean and that's the reason he left. Story is set in season 1, Dean ask Sam why he left for Stanford and Sam doesn’t want to say it, but then he's really angry and told him everything.

Lots of angst please,Hurt/Comfort,and

Bad parenting!John. And sex with feelings

 

Sam looked at Dean’s face. His mouth was pulled down in a frown but his eyes had the same warm, comforting look Dean always had when he looked at Sam. “You can tell me, Sam. There’s nothing you could say that would make me love you less.”

“There might be,” Sam muttered. “You could hate me when I say this or be repulsed by me.”

Dean took his hand and rubbed the back of it soothingly. “Take your time,” Dean said. “But know this—I would never hate you or be repulsed by you.”

Dean’s eyes were kind, but the memory ached.

*

_“Why can’t you be like your brother?” John yelled. “Why do you have to be so fucking annoying?”_

_Sam’s eyes watered. “I don’t mean to be annoying. I just don’t like hunting.”_

_“You’re always_ whining, _” John continued. “You should have died in the fire, not Mary.”  
Sam gasped. “Dad…” _

_He couldn’t finish his sentence because John’s fist collided with his face. “Maybe I can know some toughness into you!” He punched Sam’s stomach and he doubled over when the wind got knocked out of him. John shoved him to the ground and kicked his side._

_Sam hated himself for crying out, but it hurt so badly. “Stop!” Sam begged. “Dad, please!”_

_“If you were more like Dean, I wouldn’t have to do this!” John yelled._

_Sam sobbed._ Please come home, Dean, _Sam thought._ Please come home and save me _._ I need you here _. Sam tried to crawl away but John grabbed Sam by his hair and pulled him back._

_“You’re not getting away that easily, Sammy,” John growled._

_“Dean!” Sam screamed. God, why couldn’t someone save him?_

*

“Dad…” Sam didn’t know how to say it. “When you would leave for the bar to hustle pool, he would–,” Sam stopped. He took a few calming breaths so his anger didn’t explode.

“He’d what?” Dean pushed. ‘What would he do?”

Sam’s nails dug into his fists.

*

_Dean was gone again. They were running low on cash and John sent Dean to the bar to hustle drunks in pool or darts. It didn’t matter that Dean was only 20, he easily looked 22 and John could make seriously good fake ID’s._

_Sam hid in the corner doing his homework quietly. If he stayed silent and out of the way, John might forget about him. It hurt just to breathe. Sam’s ribs were probably cracked from last week’s beating but he couldn’t ask Dean for help. Sam was a shitty liar and Dean wouldn’t believe him anyways. In Dean’s eyes, John could do no wrong._

_Sam lost his place in his book. He loved Dean so much, his big brother and protector. If he told Dean his biggest secret and he scorned Sam, he would never recover. If Dean hit him for bad-mouthing John, Sam would give up._

_“What’re you doing?” John hissed. “Homework? You should be out practicing. If you come face to face with a monster, reciting your little mathematic formulas aren’t gonna save your ass. And then Dean or I will have to come in and save you.” John snorted. “Useless. You’ll always be useless.”_

_Sam tried to ignore John but his dad came over and shoved Sam off the chair. His foot hit Sam’s side right after that. “You’re a little bitch,” John growled. “And I’m going to put you in your fucking place.”_

_Sam heard John pull down his zipper and his pants were jerked down. This was the worst part. John had only done it a couple times, but the pain never lessened. It felt like fire radiated through his ass when John shoved his cock in. Sam bit his lip so hard it bled. He wasn’t going to give John the satisfaction of hearing him break. John’s dick fucked him roughly and Sam tried to get his head away._

_It, like usual, wandered to Dean. Dean’s sweet smile and his soft hands that would caress Sam’s body. Dean would be gentle with him whisper how much he loved Sam and how precious he was. Sam would have nothing but pleasure with Dean. His beautiful green eyes and his cock sliding in and out of Sam’s hole–_

_God. What kind of sick fuck thinks about sex with his brother?_

_When John was done, Sam cleaned off as much of the blood and semen as he could. He felt sick from the rape and thinking about Dean. He crawled to his desk and peeled back the papers to peek at the brochure his teacher had slipped him. The pamphlet was titled “writing a college essay.” Sam opened it up and skimmed it._

_Someday Sam would get out of here. He’d make sure of it._

_*_

“He beat me,” Sam moaned. “And… did other things to me.”

“What kind of things?” Dean asked.

Sam tried to quench his anger. “Sexual things.”

Dean’s mouth fell open. “He raped you?”

The word made Sam’s blood boil. “Yes. Whenever you went out to a bar, he’d abuse me.”

“Oh god, Sammy,” Dean put his head between his legs. “I’m a terrible brother. I let that monster hurt you every week and I—why didn’t you say anything?”  
“I was scared,” Sam murmured. “I was scared you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Oh my god,” Dean repeated. “I was such a terrible brother I didn’t even realize he was doing that. I made you believe you couldn’t come to me for help. How can _you_ not hate _me_?”

Sam still felt angry, but none of it was directed at Dean. “I loved you too much to hate you. I loved you every second of my life.”

Sam closed his eyes and didn’t realize Dean had gotten up until his arms were wrapped around Sam’s shoulders. The anger rushed out of Sam’s body and he sank into Dean’s embrace. “I was so scared,” Sam whimpered. He couldn’t control the hot tears that spilled from his eyes. “I had to leave. I couldn’t stay with him and I couldn’t… I thought about you, sexually. I wanted you. I had to get out.”

He started crying and Dean didn’t push him away like Sam expected. Dean held him tighter and stroked his hair. “Shh, baby boy,” Dean murmured. “I’m here now. I’m going to make it better, okay?” He kissed Sam’s temple.

Sam sniffed. “You’re not angry?”

Dean smiled gently. “How could I be angry when I feel the same way?” Before Sam could process his words, Dean had pressed his lips lightly against Sam’s. “You can tell me to stop,” Dean said.

“I don’t want you to,” Sam replied.

Dean took his time removing Sam’s clothes and kissed every inch of his skin. It was better than Sam imagined. Dean’s hands were calloused from years of hunting, but his touches on Sam’s skin were careful. “I’m going to wipe away every bit of disgust Dad ever made you feel,” Dean said. “I’m going to show you exactly how loved you are, how you _deserve_ to be treated.”

Sam sighed and relaxed into Dean’s hands. His lips found all of Sam’s most sensitive spots and he jumped when a pair of lips sucked his cock down. “Dean!” Sam squeaked. Dean smirked and sucked until Sam was close to coming.

Dean fumbled with the lube before managed to get some on his fingers. He took his time opening Sam up. Dean meant what he said—he was going to worship Sam and get rid of every poisoning mark their dad forced on him. He wanted to give up his mission to find dad, but he wanted to beat John bloody.

He exhaled slowly. Dean needed to be calm and relaxed when he made love to Sam. Sam didn’t need another person hurting him. Dean had four fingers in Sam, prodding his prostate, before Sam begged Dean to fuck him. “Come on, Dean!” Sam urged. His cock was hard and bobbed against his stomach. “Fuck me, please!”

Dean started to push his cock in. He was slow and let Sam adjust to every inch before continuing. He stopped when his dick was totally inside Sam’s ass and waited for Sam’s cue. “I’m good,” Sam said. “You can move.”

Dean pulled out and then slowly pushed back in. Sam swatted him. “I’m not made of glass, you know. Fuck me like you mean it!”

Dean started to move faster and his thrusts became more aggressive. “Fuck!” Dean cried. “Jesus, Sammy!”

Sam moaned and wrapped his hands around Dean’s wrists. He wanted as much contact between them as possible. Dean fucked him roughly but his eyes were filled with love and protection. “I love you,” Dean said. “I’m going to take care of you from now on.”   
“I–,” Sam moaned. “I know you will. You always have.”   
Dean stuttered. “I let Dad abuse you, Sam. I did a crappy job.” He stopped thrusting to lean down and give Sam a gentle kiss. “But I’m going to do so much better.”

Sam looked up at Dean with love in his eyes. “I trust you.”   
Dean resumed the sex until Sam was panting and huffs of pleasure came out of him. Dean wrapped his hand around Sam’s dick and pulled until Sam’s orgasm splattered on his stomach. Dean came almost immediately after him, the feeling of Sam’s ass and the blissed out expression on Sam’s face were a delicious combination.

Dean cleaned the come off Sam, occasionally pressing light kisses against his skin. “I love you so much, Sam.”

“I love you too,” Sam replied. “I always have, and I always will.”   
Dean grinned. “Good. Because I don’t ever plan on not loving you.”

Sam smirked teasingly. “I guess I can live with that.”


End file.
